this

Sick of this
being accountable
constantly all
over the head
missing day by
day the perfect
day for being in it

this being reliable
container of turmoils
trepidations sick desires

this being broken
-legged and hearted-
disappointments
lures from all
those loved ones

dumb this
this this body
this eyes this mouth
all blunted

this shipwreck
this this
bullshit lament
this for no one
this to nowhere